Lesson 1: Gender and the Sacred Body

🌈 Healing the Gender Binary & Honoring the Sacred, Human Body

The Wounds
Gender and sexuality are among the most misunderstood and wounded aspects of being human.
For thousands of years, bodies have been feared, controlled, and shamed. Pleasure has been exiled. Desire has been demonized. The same system that rapes the Earth has raped our collective body—turning life into property, love into ownership, and power into domination.
This separation has bred a deep scarcity of belonging, where people learn to trade authenticity for approval and confuse possession with love. The shame that surrounds sex and the body is not personal—it is structural. It is the invisible hand of control whispering that the natural pulse of life is dangerous.
Much like our relationship with money and systems of trade, unprocessed shame and scarcity harm our relationships with one another and with the body. These patterns keep us from experiencing a flow of abundant love and deep belonging, irrespective of gender or sexual expression.

The Binary as Trauma
The gender binary is not “the truth”—it is trauma wearing the mask of order. It was built to serve domination, born from fear and shame. The story of Adam and Eve, the myth of man over woman, and the policing of women’s bodies have all been ways to secure power through separation.
The binary teaches that there are only two ways to exist: masculine or feminine, leader or follower, owner or owned. And just like the scarcity model of wealth, this binary model of gender feeds on hierarchy and competition.

Healing Between Genders
There is much healing to do between the genders.
The male gender has dominated the female body across the planet. There is a wound inside many women that tells them they only have value and worth if they marry a man or have babies—and a wound inside men that says they must marry a woman to be complete.
Shame, unworthiness, and scarcity live inside binaried relationships; they are wounds that fuel these dynamics and get projected onto our children.
The modern nuclear family has magnified this pattern, often limiting secure attachments and mirroring old systems of control.

Across the planet, people are remembering that masculinity and femininity are not enemies—they are energies that belong to all of us. Healing between genders involves men learning to feel and grieve, women remembering their strength and sovereignty, and all of us integrating the polarities within. When we unlearn dominance, we reclaim intimacy. When we unlearn scarcity, we remember connection.
Healing also involves psychobiological processing of shame—letting the body metabolize what the mind cannot fix.
The war between genders ends not through blame, but through emotional honesty and mutual repair.

The Sacred Body
Our bodies are sacred ecosystems, vibrating with creative life force. Yet in systems built on control, the body becomes a battlefield. We are taught to distrust our sensations, to fear our genitals, to hide our blood, to shrink our pleasure, and to avert from pain. This disconnection fuels the market—it sells us substitutes for aliveness.
Shame lives in the body as numbness, a closing against the very energy that could heal us. The invitation is to breathe back into sensation, to let pleasure be a teacher, to learn from pain, to let erotic energy move without exploitation.
To reclaim the sacred body is to remember that joy, pleasure, pain and safety coexist in the truth of embodiment.

I began learning and practicing kink about two years ago, and it has been a profound teacher.

Kink refers to any consensual sexual or erotic practice, relationship dynamic, or interest that falls outside mainstream norms.
It’s often used as an umbrella term for a wide range of activities that explore power, sensation, role-play, and creativity—all grounded in mutual consent, trust, and communication.

In a deeper sense, kink can also be a form of somatic awareness and healing, because it invites people to explore their boundaries, desires, and embodied responses safely and consciously.
Through this lens, kink isn’t about harm—it’s about intention, integrity, and connection.

Common forms of kink may include:

• BDSM (bondage, discipline, dominance/submission, sadism/masochism)

• Role-play or fantasy work

• Sensory play (touch, temperature, restraint, etc.)

• Power exchange (consensual dynamics involving authority or surrender)

Kink can be a creative, spiritual, and healing practice that honors the body’s intelligence, teaches emotional attunement, and transforms shame into empowerment.

Through kink, I’ve learned about boundaries, trust, and capacity—how to hold both pain and pleasure with integrity. Like drag, porn, and other expressive art forms, kink uses the body as a tool for transformation, sensation, and release. It can help us process trauma in relationship.

Gender and sexuality live in the shadow, individually and collectively. To release them from their colonial trappings and heal them would feel niiiiiiiiice.

Fluidity as Freedom
To live beyond the binary is to live into our fullness. Queerness, transness, gender fluidity, pansexuality, polyamory, and relationship anarchy are not deviations—they are reminders of nature’s diversity. They are sacred expressions of life’s fluidity.
When we allow love to move freely, we step out of the economy of scarcity and into a field of abundance. When we allow gender to transform, we discover lost parts of ourselves. Relationships become gardens, not prisons; mirrors, not cages.
The shame that once whispered “you are too much” becomes the very doorway into wholeness.
Freedom is not chaos—it is coherence born from trusting in our own becoming.

Cosmic Belonging & Relational Abundance
Gender and sexuality are cosmic—they are how stardust learns to dance. Our creative and sexual energy is not separate from the Earth’s fertility or the galaxies’ expansion—it is the same pulse.
To honor our erotic nature is to honor the life force that animates everything.
The shame around our buttholes, labia, clits, scrotums, armpits, and breasts can be released and healed.
We no longer love to escape loneliness; we love to celebrate existence. In this spacious belonging, every body, every gender, and every love is sacred—an expression of the infinite diversity of life remembering itself.

Here are two videos FSSL made on gender:
Our Truth
Now is the Time

✿ Story: Drag
For me, drag has been both art form and initiation. My exploration began when I returned to Missoula about seven years ago and saw Ace of Hearts perform—I instantly fell in love with drag as transformative art. I performed locally and produced several drag shows with Charlotte Macorn and the House of Mysteries. Through these performances, I examined my relationship to gender, culture, and sexuality, as well as the shadow material that lives in appropriation, repression, and inherited stories.
I hold deep gratitude for Ace, Lexi, Pup, thedeity, Billy, Tides, Charley, Lynsey, Matty, Bobbi, Kelly, and all my queer and trans friends whose healing support has carried me on this path. Big love to all of our queer, kinky, poly, and trans ancestors who continue to teach us to live with more pride, courage, love, and fluidity.
Today, my drag persona is BB Mystery, and in kink spaces I go by BB Fluid—both genderqueer and gender-fluid, pointing toward the exploration that is still unfolding.